My mother always used to stress the importance of wearing good undergarments. Her reasoning “If you have an accident in public it would be very embarrassing if your underwear is not decent”. As I grew older, I used to think to myself… but if I had an accident, would I not be covered in blood, or wouldn’t the paramedics be too busy trying to save me rather than thinking- OMG her underwear is awful!

Poor Jennifer Garner, is proof you don’t even need to have an accident to suffer the humiliation of bad underwear. For those that have not seen the pictures. Imagine wearing jeans, bending down and revealing pants with holes and elastic yearning to be recycled. So plus size gals, don’t get caught out, update your lingerie drawer and consider stocking up on what are arguably ten essential items for your drawer.

The Duchess Steel Boned Corset
From: HipsAndCurves.com

1. A range of different styles of bras – Do not get caught out revealing bits of bra when wearing certain outfits.
2. Nipple covers/Pasties – A smooth look when wearing sheer fabric
3. Luxury silk baby doll – Because you deserve it!
4. Seamless panties – No more visible panty line
5. Thongs, G-Strings or V-Strings – No more visible panty line
6. A corset – Bring out the DIVA in you
7. Fishnet Stockings – My absolute favorites
8. Lingerie tape – Helps to keep outfit in place, no more unplanned reveals!
9. Half Slip – See through skirts- fashion faux pas – of the highest degree
10. Shape Wear – Gives you a smoother look

A well stocked drawer gives you more options and cuts down on the number of trips to the lingerie store.  Everything in the above list can be found at Hips and Curves.com favorite lingerie store of Full Figure Plus readers and mecca for sexy plus size lingerie for women with curves!

Full Figure Plus - Plus Size Fashion For Today's Active Women

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”
Oscar Wilde

I am tired of hearing people (women especially) put themselves down, beat themselves up, and/or constantly allow themselves to swim in a sea of negativity all because they are not their ideal clothing size (as dictated by the media & fashion industries).

I did not realize being a certain size makes a person a better parent, more intelligent, more compassionate or even more honest…the list is endless!

Why are so many (ladies) obsessed with being a certain size? I am beginning to think it is a deliberate ploy to distract us from what is really going in our communities, in society and around the world.

Being overweight does not make me a bad person, neither does it mean I should be ignored or ridiculed by society. The reality is I cannot control the behavior or actions of others. However, I can choose how I will behave and respond to others.

I have chosen to love and respect me. I am having the lifelong romance that Wilde talks about- and its great!

I am happy to look in the mirror and smile at the beautiful voluptuous woman looking back at me. It’s not perfection but a work in progress that I can be proud of.

It’s my choice that my dress or shoe size (big feet) is not part of my value system or linked to my self esteem. Therefore, I do not feel the need to apologize for being plus sized. Neither do I have the urge to over compensate by being too loud and over the top.

I am happy just being me. Me, is a professional working mother. Integrity and compassion are part of my world. Laughter is my medicine, music brings me joy.

Dress size or weight should not dictate how we enjoy or live our lives. This life we are living now, is really not a dress rehearsal, it’s the real thing. Don’t let life pass you by, don’t be fooled into holding yourself back, by using your size as an excuse not to take action.

Feel good about yourself, we all have so many wonderful qualities about us-don’t ignore them. Create your own value system and define who you are. Never give away your power. We can all learn from Nike and “Just do it”. Whatever IT maybe!!!

Full Figure Plus - Plus Size Fashion For Today's Active Women

Tonye is the owner of of Melons and Peaches Lingerie which will debut online very soon. Additionally, Tonye will be a regular contributor to Full Figure Plus. If you are interested in guest blogging for Full Figure Plus send an email to owner@fullfigureplus.com with “guest blogger” in the title.

Approximately 85% of women are wearing the wrong bra size. Tell me something new! I remember hearing this statistic when I was in my teens (I am now approaching 35 years young).

So why haven’t we moved forward? Why hasn’t the statistic dropped? Maybe, it is because women are still being sold poorly fitting bras by untrained and inexperienced bra fitters. Also, let’s not forget that a significant number of bra sizes in the US stop at triple D.

On a recent shopping trip, in Northern VA (no naming and shaming in this blog) I really wanted to treat myself to a couple of new bras. I wear a 34HH; this indicates medium back size and large cup size. The stores I visited did not carry 34HH. Instead I was persuaded to try on triple D’s and where available E’s or 40H. Knowing that these sizes would not fit, I cooperated with the bra fitters/sales assistants and tried the bras on. (Fabric quality, style and color will be for another day). It was obvious to me they did not fit properly, however ‘the experts’ were oblivious to the lumps and bumps sticking out all over the place, and the fact that the back was way to big. I was told I may not be able to find the perfect fit, but could manage with these. I don’t think so.

I know better. I know that shopping for bras in America is a very de-motivating experience. Plus size shops have failed to accept and/or acknowledge that their current bra sizing really does not work for a lot of women. Some plus size vendors do not even carry anything above a triple D. The ones that do still do not carry my size 34HH.

Vendors- plus size does not automatically mean large back, small cup size. Some of us plus size ladies have very big breast, and medium size backs. A good bra should not be uncomfortable. The question now is how do we reduce the statistic of 85%? Answer- we need to start buying well fitting bras.

Action Plan for Better Fitting Bras

• Seek out an experienced bra fitter and learn how a bra should fit you
• Try different styles and brands of bras – manufacturers sizing & styling can vary
• Take a figure hugging top with you when trying on bras- easiest way to check for bulges
• If there is any doubt about the sizing- don’t buy it.

First of all if the bra you are wearing has bits sticking out in the front, at the sides or anywhere, the cup is the wrong size. If you are forever adjusting your straps or the straps are too tight or too loose, it is not the bra for you. If the bra is too loose at the back- get rid of it. And on the flip side if the bra is digging into your sides- lose it!

We need to stop buying badly fitting bras, and take that one step further and write to the vendors and the manufactures. We need to let them know that the current bra sizing is not working for us- their valued customer. If we don’t tell the powers that be, that the bras are not fitting properly, they will continue to make and sell them.

A good bra is the foundation of any outfit. Wearing a good bra is a great confidence booster, because you will automatically feel good about yourself and how you look. Your clothes will definitely look better with the right bra, no more bulges.

Many many years ago I was fortunate enough to spend a great deal of time with a very experienced lingerie consultant. I learned that the tape measure can be a valuable assistant to the bra fitting process; it is not always 100% accurate for bra fitting. Women have to learn to understand their body shapes to get a good fit. Because, breasts change shape and size frequently, it’s important to be measured regularly.

For more information on Bra fitting go to:

http://www.rigbyandpeller.com/advice-centre/bra_fitting.aspx
http://www.bravissimo.com/perfectfit/

FYI- I buy all my in London, England at Bravissimo in Covent Garden, the service is always excellent and my bras always fit well, their range goes up to double K.

Mid Year Resolution- Buy a well fitting bra and not settle for anything less!

Full Figure Plus - Plus Size Fashion For Today's Active Women